Sometimes you end up never speaking to someone who meant the world to you again. And that’s okay. You cope and you survive. Don’t let your losses keep you back from new gains.
Can we start over?
Can we be strangers again?
Let me introduce myself
We can laugh and talk
And relearn what we already know
And come up with new inside jokes
And create new memories
And give each other
A second chance.
“Somebody asked me if I knew you. A million memories flashed through my mind, but I just smiled and said I used to.”
There’s always good days and bad days.
On good days – It feels like nothing has changed. We pick up right where we left off as if days, weeks, months haven’t passed and miles never separated us.
On bad days – Emptiness. Silence. It feels hollow like the bond between the two of us disappeared. The conversation feels forced. I ask you questions and talk to you about the same things I would to a complete stranger as if you weren’t someone that knew all my secrets and all my flaws. In return you do the same. I try so hard to fill that emptiness and to keep it all going, asking more questions and rambling on about how nothing has really changed and nothing new is really going on. It’s like cruel and usual punishment…
As time passes and as we drift further and further apart into our lives that include less and less of eachother each conversation and each moment we spend together becomes harder and harder. It’s ackward to talk to you. It’s feels strange to spend time with you even if we’re doing what we used to do. The silence is strange. We fidget and stumble to find that comfort we once had.
With each forced word and each forced action my heart aches in pain. I wonder how this ever happened? How can I no longer feel comfort in someone I had once had no fear in and hid nothing from?
I relish in every good day that we have together because it gives me hope that the inevitable isn’t really going to happen even though deep in my heart I know it’s coming – there will be a day where we become strangers in eachother’s lives and all we are are memories.
There are good days and there are bad days. The bad days happen more than the good now. I wonder if it’s because we are both (or maybe just me) are just trying to force something that isn’t meant to continue on. Trying to keep something alive when it’s meant to die.
Maybe we should just let it all go now, instead of keeping something alive through motion, force, and hope? All this does is prolong the pain. Better to cut your losses early on right? Better to just cry once and move on. But then again we’re taught to keep fighting for what we believe in, in what we want, in what we love… What am I supposed to do?
It’s saddest thing to watch two people grow apart and become complete strangers.